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March 2, 2018

Mindful News

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We are all connected...

Over the past few weeks, I have felt very proud to be a Floridian.  Here, in the midst of such horrific loss and suffering after the Marjory Stoneman Douglas​ school shooting, I see children finding their voice, and speaking out to help keep this tragedy from happening again.  I really admire the eloquence, honesty and resilience of these adolescents.  I also see parents, teachers, friends, counselors and businesses helping to bring some sense of normalcy back to their lives.

Practicing as a neuropsychologist in this community, I have evaluated hundreds of children, with abilities that range from giftedness to mental deficiency, and with diagnoses of ADHD, learning disabilities, and autism.  I am acutely aware of how the combination of genetics and environment affects how we see the world.  Like you, I am so saddened by what has happened. 

I recently heard an MSD student on the news saying they could not mourn the loss of their friends yet, because they needed to act to prevent this from happening again.  I get that.  When disaster hits, we often go into fight / flight / freeze mode.  Sublimation is a very healthy defense mechanism; being in the present moment could be too painful.  Whenever you are ready to mourn, we here in the South Florida mindful community will be here for you.

For now, what can we do to help people heal? Down here, you never know where you will come across someone affected by this tragedy: the bank, the gas station, Publix, or I-95.  Come to think of it, you never know where you will come across ANYONE who is suffering.  I hate telling people what to do, and I particularly hate being told what to do.  But, nonetheless, here I am making a few suggestions.  In addition to making donations, I think the following could really help:

 

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Be kinder in traffic.  Perhaps allowing more people to merge into your lane.  Breathing with and accepting the inattentiveness of others, instead of honking your horn.  

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Be patient in check-out lanes.  Noticing judging when you're in the express lane and someone in front of you has more than 10 items.  Perhaps their mind is elsewhere.


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Smile.  Whenever I'm feeling sad, and I'm busy running around town doing my errands, it helps when people smile as they walk by.  It helps me feel more connected and less isolated.

Together, we will get through this. 

The following poem is dedicated to all MSD students, teachers, staff, and their families, who truly know the meaning of suffering.

Kindness

by Naomi Shihab Nye

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho 
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans 
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, 
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.  
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth. 

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and 
     purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.
 

Share your story with us,

We would love to hear any insights of what you are learning as you continue to explore your life in a mindful way.  If you are inclined, please send us your personal stories to post in future newsletters by clicking here.