Introduction
Welcome to my August newsletter. If you have recently subscribed, welcome aboard and if you are a regular, thank you for taking the time to read my words. And do give me feedback. I always love to know if you enjoyed a piece that I wrote or if there are things that I could improve.
For those who are pressed for time, I highlight the key points in each section so that you can skim read and find the take home messages. If something really speaks to you, you can always go back and read a section in detail.
And if you do enjoy my newsletter, share the link with a friend and check out the archive for all the newsletters you may have missed.
My book launch for The Truth about My Daughter is getting very close. I am excited to see that my Avid Reader event on 14 September has sold out, but I also have an event at Books at Stones on Thursday 3 October at 6.30, so if you missed out on my launch, I would be delighted to see you there.
And if you did score a ticket to my launch at Avid Reader, I am delighted to confirm that Brisbane crime author, Poppy Gee will be discussing my debut novel with me. Poppy grew up in Tasmania and her two novels are set in her home state. She is the founder of Wine and Crime with Ben’s book club, a fabulous event where Brisbane writers and readers get the opportunity to catch up over dinner and listen to Australian crime writers talk about the inspiration behind their books and their writing process with author, Ben Hobson. I am so excited to chat with Poppy about my debut novel, The Truth about My Daughter.
And for a sneak preview, here is the link to my trailer for my novel.
My fabulous writing group, Brisbane Scribes did another photo shoot recently as we are working on updating our website. Here is my favourite shot. Every month we get together, enjoy a sip or two of wine, share the stories we wrote to a prompt set the previous month, celebrate any wins, and share our favourite reads. It can get quite rowdy, but that is what you expect when you get a feisty group of writers with strong opinions in a room with books and wine.
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GP Wisdom
Last year, I had a sober reminder that preventative medicine is at the heart of my job as a GP. There are so many demands competing for my time that sometimes it is challenging to squeeze preventative screening and routine examinations in. The standard fifteen-minute consultation is woefully inadequate when dealing with something as important as people’s physical and mental wellbeing.
Celia (not her real name) presented after a long absence. She was unwell with a respiratory infection and just wanted a quick consultation to get a sickness certificate for work. When I asked her how she was, I learned that she had moved after a difficult separation from her husband and now lived much further away from the surgery with her two children. Such a lot had happened since the last time I’d seen Celia, I let her talk. The pandemic had been a particularly challenging time as she worked long hours as a nurse in one of our major hospitals while her husband was retrenched and found himself at home managing the household and home schooling. A marriage that was already under strain, cracked under the pressure and Celia and her husband are now separated with plans to divorce.
I had a quick scroll through her file and noticed she was overdue for her cervical screening test, routine bloods, and her mammogram. She agreed to have these done and to come back in a couple of weeks.
I was floored by the call from the radiologist advising me that she had breast cancer. It was late Friday afternoon and I wondered whether to call her immediately or give her one final weekend of blissful ignorance. I called her Monday morning with the news, having arranged an appointment with a breast surgeon who agreed to see Celia later that week.
Like many people, Celia just let routine things go during the COVID years. Those often life-saving tests like a mammogram, routine bloods and skin checks were neglected, and for some, the consequences were life-threatening.
The Royal Australian College of General Practice has just released its latest copy of The Red Book, a guide to routine preventative practices that if consistently implemented would have profound positive impacts on every sector of the health system and on the overall wellbeing of Australians in every age group. Some of the recommendations like regular blood pressure checks are quick and easy to implement and easily incorporated into a consultation. Screening for mental health issues or asking a woman in her late forties about menopause is like opening a Pandora’s box and is impossible to accomplish in fifteen minutes when a patient has presented for an unrelated issue.
Celia is doing well. She had a mastectomy and opted for a reconstruction and further radiation therapy. She is back at work and slowly rebuilding her life with support from her sister and good friends. I have since seen Celia’s sister and a couple of her friends for a full women’s health check. She is not considered in remission until she is cancer free for five years, but I am optimistic.
There are excellent screening programmes in Australia for breast cancer, bowel cancer as well as the cervical screening test for cervical cancer. Vaccinations are all recorded in the Australian Immunisation Register and easy to track. Most general practices have robust recall systems in place to track when blood tests, diabetes reviews, skin checks and a range of other tests are due. But despite this, uptake is far from perfect. The latest data about Faecal Occult Blood Testing (the poo test that arrives in the mail) is that only 43.2 percent of recipients do it while the uptake of colonoscopies is only 26%. While screening for breast cancer and bowel cancer can be accessed without even attending the GP surgery, uptake is far higher when I encourage patients to do the screening and go through the process with them.
One of the barriers to practising preventative medicine is that most patients only present when they are unwell. Having elevated blood pressure, high cholesterol or low bone density is asymptomatic. It is challenging to convince someone to comply with treatment to prevent catastrophic outcomes ten or more years in the future. Even though we know prevention of a heart attack or fractured hip is more cost effective and associated with better outcomes, it is more difficult to measure and elicits less enthusiasm than the latest high-tech life-saving procedure or device.
I encourage everyone to present for an annual health check which differs depending on your age. Present when you are well, armed with a family history of significant illness and any personal health concerns. And in between these health assessments do keep a check on your weight, eat good food in moderation, add in some regular exercise and recreation. Indulge in a little creativity, wear sunblock, aim for two alcohol-free days each week and smile more. Get enough sleep, keep in touch with your friends and spend time with your loved ones. Our life expectancy has increased but there is little point to living longer if poor health impairs out ability to do the things we love.
And if you do have a new symptom or any concerns, do check in with your GP and book an appropriate time slot. Ask for more time if you have multiple or complex issues. It means that your GP can give your concerns the attention they deserve. Prevention and early intervention are what we GPs do best.
Running
If you have never run before and think of it as an activity reserved for the lean, fit and young, I invite you to stand on the sidelines of a running event and watch the runners pass. You will be surprised to see what a happy, diverse bunch they are. Many of them will be pushing themselves to raise money for their favourite charity, others will be challenging themselves to run further or faster than before and there will be a plenty of nervous first timers. I guarantee that the excitement and anticipation will be palpable.
Running really is an egalitarian and inclusive sport and welcomes anybody regardless of age, weight, gender, class, or colour. When you run a marathon, there are the extraordinary people who finish in less than three hours but equally, there will be many finishing in five or six hours, and everyone receives a medal and is cheered just as loudly when they pass over the finish line. And this applies to every event, whatever the distance. Speed is incidental to just getting in there and having a go.
Corey Wharton-Malcolm is a running coach, A Runner’s World columnist who has featured in Guardian, Evening Standard, Men’s Health and Metro. He is the author of All You Need is Rhythm and Grit. He began is running life as ‘an everyday black dude… who was incredibly fat-like really, really fat with a big belly, a big gut.’
I loved his chapter about running his first marathon. He had barely managed to run a half marathon and was overweight and underprepared. He described himself as standing at the start line of the London Marathon thinking, ‘You’re not ready for this, you can’t do this, you’re too slow, too overweight, haven’t trained enough, why don’t you just go back to bed and forget about it or do it another day.’
Now I don’t advocate signing up for a marathon without training, but Cory made the decision to finish that race and it became a turning point for him. It rained, he rolled his ankle and through it all, the crowd cheered him on for the seven hours, yes, that’s right, the seven hours, it took for him to finish. And here’s the thing about running, he was forced to spend seven hours in his own head, and things happen when you are forced alone with your thoughts. And in Corey’s words, ‘The more I thought, the more I opened myself up to it.’
Even though he was exhausted physically and mentally, and everything hurt, by continuing to walk and run and stay with his thoughts, he began a process of learning about himself and what he was capable of. We spend so little time with ourselves and our thoughts. Life is just too busy and often it is easier to avoid digging deep and making yourself vulnerable.
I promised in a recent newsletter to tell you a bit more about a couple of other runners I met in Ireland who really inspired me. Let me introduce you to Jerry Forde, an Irish wheelchair athlete who has completed an incredible 500+ marathons, the only wheelchair athlete in the world to do so. I met Jerry in 2011 when I was living in Ireland and signed up for a few races. He was a participant in every event either I or my husband signed up for. We had to take turns back then as our children were still in early primary school.
Jerry was born with spina bifida and spent his earlier years lying in a hospital bed with recurrent pressure sores. He was placed in Cheshire Home at twelve and would have lived there for the rest of his life. He had a disagreement with one of the staff and hobbled out on crutches when he was twenty. Eventually, the spina bifida association bought him an athlete’s wheelchair and he now trains six days a week before heading to work on his radio show that broadcasts from Cork University Hospital. In his words, ‘Races have given me a new lease of life. They took me from lying in bed to having travelled the world.’
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Jerry has had to overcome much more than most of us, but he is incredibly resilient and maintains a consistent positive attitude. As someone who would spend a lot more time in his thoughts than most of us, Jerry is refreshingly modest about his achievement. ‘The fact that people want to write about me is quite amazing…I’m also chuffed at young people passing me in races and saying, “you are my hero.”’
The final runner I will introduce you to is Orla, another Irish runner who was seventy-five when I met her at various running events in Ireland. I stood alongside her at the start of the Blarney half marathon and the sky was grey and threatened rain. She informed me that the first half of the run was a killer, a steady uphill. It was difficult not to feel despondent, but she remained relentlessly cheerful. Irish races rarely start at the stated time. There are speeches from the local running association (who often provide sandwiches and an array of slices and treats at the end), the local mayor, the parish priest, and various well-known (or lesser known) personalities in the area. When the starter’s gun finally fired, Orla wished me a cheery good luck and we were off.
The weather held, and Orla was right. The first half was tough. The second half was gorgeous with a long, gentle downhill run, the Irish countryside unfurling alongside us in its many gorgeous shades of green. Being much younger, I finished a long way ahead of Orla, and cheered her through when she crossed the finish line, still smiling. She informed me that after each event, she and her husband enjoyed a good feed at the local pub and then spent the afternoon at a day spa.
She still inspires me, and I hope one day to be a seventy-plus-year old runner lining up for a race in the morning, before enjoying a delicious lunch followed by an afternoon of relaxation. I may even inspire a younger person to take up running. You really are never too old to run.
There are so many reasons people start to run but the benefits will extend well beyond your initial motivation. Each of the three runners I mentioned had different reasons not to fun. Too fat and unfit, disabled, too old and yet they just got out there and did it. We know all the physical reasons for being active; cardiac health, improved bone density, weight management and improved blood pressure but the mental health benefits are just as significant. When you run, you produce mood enhancing neurotransmitters and when you do it often enough, you can quite literally reshape your brain and improve not only your self-confidence but your cognitive function.
Running just keeps on giving, making you a fitter, happier and better person. Cory summed it up when he said, ‘For me it was searching for something that I didn’t know I needed: clarity on who I am…running helps me see the world the way I need to see it, to live in it with a smile on my face and love in my heart.’
I can’t really think of a better reason to lace up and put one foot in front of the other.
Writing
Imposter syndrome is now a well-recognised phenomenon. At its heart, it is the belief that we are not good enough, not worthy or capable, that any success we achieve is not due to effort or competence but due to luck. It was first coined in 1978 by psychologists Suzanne Imes and Pauline Rose Clance.
Dr Clance grew up in the socioeconomically depressed Appalachian region, Virginia, the youngest of six siblings. Even once Dr Clance went on to teach and was clearly successful, she was filled with self-doubt. While this is a common scenario, imposter syndrome can also affect a person who has always been highly successful and then hits their first major difficulty or rejection. They then become plagued with doubt and attribute their earlier successes to chance or good luck.
When you are a writer, even a successful one, it is inevitable that you will receive negative feedback or rejection. And this leads to insecurity with that little voice inside whispering that you are not good enough, that the earlier accolades or awards you achieved were sheer luck. You become plagued with doubt and everything you write feels substandard and reinforces your negative self-belief.
I listened to two fascinating interviews on Pamela Cook’s, writes4women podcast. The first was with author Ber Carroll – how to stay published and the second was 5 reasons to write when publishing hurts with Pamela Cook sharing insights gained following rejection. If you are not a regular listener, you are in for a treat, and I invite you to scroll through the many authors who have shared their writing process and journey to publication (or rejection) on the podcast.
What I found so interesting about these two episodes is that both Pamela Cook and Ber Carroll were published novelists when they were rejected, and it triggered the same self-doubt and disappointment that we all experience. Ber has not only had several different publishers for her novels but has self-published and come back to traditional publishing again. It reminded me that writing is a fickle business and rejection is inevitable. Once you are published, there will be bad reviews, or your book sales may be disappointing, or you may develop writers block with no fresh ideas for your next work.
One of the most helpful things to do as a writer is to reconsider your definition of success. If it is getting an article published in a magazine, what happens if you get scathing reviews? If you get a publishing contract for your book and the sales are dismal, does that change your definition of success? It is so helpful to step back and avoid setting goals where the outcome is outside your control. Getting a book contract, winning a writing competition, selling lots of books, writing a blockbuster.
Writing is ultimately subjective. I have a folder of rejections and often a story that has not placed in one competition will shortlist in another. An article that was rejected by one magazine is reshaped, sent out again and often published elsewhere. And my folder is still filled with stories and articles that may never find a home.
When you get yet another rejection, take a step back and a deep breath. Grieve because you have put some much of yourself into the work. Take a break and reconsider how to approach your writing in a fresh way. Remember the quote attributed to Einstein, ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.’
I don’t like the advice to sit at your desk every day and just write. It is the formula for failure. Instead try something new. Try reading outside your genre. Spend a weekend somewhere new or immerse yourself in a different creative art. Consider going to the theatre or to a movie or go and enjoy some live music.
One of the best ways to let your imagination take over is to do what actors call improv. It is when there is no script, no learned lines. Jazz musicians are great at it. Try this with your writing and see what happens. Use a simple prompt and have fun with it.
Leave your rejected piece for a while and then consider getting an edit. Sometimes it is difficult to see what can be improved in our own work. Send it to a beta reader or two and reflect on whether the piece could be tweaked. While waiting for feedback, don’t forget to celebrate other writers’ wins. Writing is not a win/lose. There is room in the world for endless books and poems and articles including yours.
When you feel you have failed and the weight of this sits heavy on your shoulders, consider what confidence looks like on you. What are you wearing? How will others see you? Sometimes it is enough to just look the part even though you are an anxious mess inside. Wear your lucky red knickers or get your hair done, apply lipstick or pearls and if needed, get yourself a new outfit. Your, ‘this is the confident me,’ one you pull out when needed. Stand in front of the mirror. Roll your shoulders a few times and give your arms a shake to get rid of all that tension knotting your muscles. Place your hand on your diaphragm and feel your breath move into your lungs, then out again. Writing is a very vulnerable thing to do, and you inevitably put a little piece of yourself out there and open yourself to scrutiny. Do it with you head held high and a smile.
And remember, we all fail in multiple areas of our lives every day. It is part of being human. We make mistakes at work, we are late paying a bill, we don’t listen when our partner tells us something important and we forget to send a birthday card to a friend. And life goes on. We sit down and get back to our writing and send more work out. We catch up with our writerly friends and commiserate. We eat too much chocolate and indulge in an extra glass of wine.
We stare down imposter syndrome and relish opportunities to fail and embrace the satisfaction that writing brings us.
Book review
Everything is Water by Simon Cleary
After attending one of Simon’s book events and listening to him speak to award-winning author, Sally Piper, I immersed myself in the pages of Everything is Water. I mentioned earlier in my newsletter how little time we spend exploring our inner world and getting to know ourselves and our place in the world. This book invites you to do just that. To set aside all the peripheral anxieties that clutter your brain and dig down to the basics.
By leaving behind the comforts of city life and carrying only the absolute essentials, Simon and his series of companions go on a journey that is one of astute observation of the environment, a reflection of both geological and human history but at its core, a pilgrimage towards a deeper understanding of self.
This is a gorgeous book where, as a reader, you get to walk alongside Simon as he follows the course of the Brisbane River from its origins to the sea. He walks and paddles 344 km over 27 days and uses this time to reflect on the role the river plays in shaping not only the geology of the landscape but the lives of all the creatures whose lives depend on its flow. His journey coincides with one of the wettest periods on record, a timely reminder of how dependent we are on the landscapes we ignore at our peril. Simon’s journey echoes the words of Dorothea Mackellar’s poem, where Australia is described as ‘a land of rugged mountain ranges, of droughts and flooding rains.’ Cleary also loves her ‘far horizons and jewel sea’ and lives close to her ‘beauty and her terror.’
What I loved most, though, was the storytelling, deftly woven between the fascinating facts about rivers, dams and our whitewashed history. While navigating sodden camp sites, dealing with blisters and water-logged gear, we learn the story of an ancient turtle, Harriet whose history has been lost in the mists of mythology. We feel invested in the tale about a dachshund called piglet and the lives of some of the people who both lived and still live along the river that has shaped the flood plain that is now Brisbane. This book is not only a pilgrimage but an ode to rivers and the environment and an invitation to us to journey inwards towards deeper understanding of the world in which we live.
And for something a little different
I decided to mix things up a bit for this newsletter and give a shout out to some live theatre.
One of the best ways to gain perspective of any situation is the ability to see the world from another person’s point of view. This is why creativity is so important. It allows us to get lost in our imagination and challenge deeply held beliefs. I love this quote from Einstein, ‘Imagination is more important than knowledge, for knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.’
How better to spend an evening than to lose yourself inside the imagination of one of our greatest playwrights, Oscar Wilde.
If you happen to be in Brisbane in late August, I invite you to come along to see The Importance of Being Earnest, performed by The Villanova Players. I recently spoke to one of their experienced actors, Elizabeth Morris and she is very excited about this production.
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This hilarious comedy is perhaps Oscar Wilde's best-known work.
Two couples negotiate the difficult waters from love and passion towards marriage and respectability.
It is a play about truth, lies and identities. Both men win the affections of their partners by pretending to be someone else which this leads to lots of hilarious moments, as they try to hold on to their dignity as their deceptions are stripped away one at a time!
Can their passion survive the unmasking!
Or the intense gruelling interrogation of a future mother-in-law?
Or will they present an “insuperable barrier”?
I have my tickets. Perhaps I will see you there.
A Piece of my Writing
I will share a piece of my short fiction with you. This story, in a much shorter form, shortlisted in The Fish Publishing 2022 fiction award April and in the January 2023 Marj Wilke Short Story Award.
With one third of marriages ending in divorce, I wanted to explore the often awkward topic of dating as a person in their forties, fifties and beyond.
And if you find yourself single after a long-term relationship has ended, or are curious what it is like to contemplate dating in your fifties, I invite you to listen to a series of podcasts, Hearts on the Line where ABC Life Matters presenter Hilary Harper makes herself vulnerable as she shares her own experience of finding love in her fifties using a dating app. It is so personal and encouraging for anyone fearful of taking the plunge yet longing to meet that special someone at a later stage in life.
The Kiss
When they went back to her place after dinner, Nina wanted to warn him, to slip into the conversation that she had been beautiful once.
She fumbled the key into the lock and invited Alistair inside. She wondered if she was doing the right thing. After all, she had known him for less than a month.
‘Tea?’ she suggested, her voice high pitched.
Immediately, she regretted it and wished she had suggested a port or perhaps a glass of wine.
‘Lovely, white with two.’
He stood gazing at the glass wren on the mantle. It was originally one of a pair, the last thing she bought with Dean before the divorce. Its fragile body was rippled with blue and green, the transparent wings poised for flight. The coloured glass reflected evening light, trails of sequins dancing on the floor and ceiling.
Nina recalled with a pang that day after Dean’s conference finished. They found the glass factory and fell in love with the birds, while falling out of love with each other.
Nina looked away and busied herself with the tea things. She still resented Dean taking the other bird and imagined its glass feathers rise with light and wing back home to the mantle where it belonged.
She glanced out at Alistair, surprised by how easily the conversation had flowed at the restaurant. Her heart quivered as she set out the cups and saucers and added the jug and sugar bowl she reserved for special occasions.
The china rattled on the tray when she brought it out.
They sat on the couch, while outside darkness crept over the horizon casting shadows across the room. Nina became aware of the distant hum of traffic. The lamp pooled mellow light onto the coffee table.
Warmth radiated from Alistair’s thigh, millimetres from her own. Nina’s breaths felt short and tight.
Alistair smiled. ‘May I?’
She pressed her knees together and folded her hands.
When he leant forward, his arm brushed hers. She swallowed, the tiny gold hairs on her skin suddenly erect.
‘How do you have your tea?’
With a kiss, she thought to herself.
‘White, no sugar.’
He handed her a teacup on a saucer. One sip later, she put it back down, anxious she might drop it. Her gaze fixed on the wren’s wing where she knew there was a hairline crack. A flaw in its transparent perfection.
Alastair turned to face her. She dared to look at him and saw herself reflected in his irises. It had been twelve years since she enjoyed the intimacy of gazing into a man’s eyes. When he smiled, his face crinkled at the edges and the images of herself blurred.
Twelve years since the surgery.
Dean left her the following week and took one of the birds with him.
Tears formed and she stared into her lap. To be fair, she and Dean decided things weren’t working out before the diagnosis, but it had still been tough.
She remembered him standing in front of the mantle, exactly where Alistair stood ten minutes ago. She had sat straight backed on this very sofa, wounds bandaged, mouth dry while Dean’s cool, clinical voice explained the division of assets. A clean, civilised excision. This one without anaesthetic.
‘It’s been a long time,’ she whispered, avoiding Alastair’s eyes this time.
‘Me too,’ he replied.
His finger lifted her chin.
She shivered.
His eyes searched hers for hesitation before his finger traced a path along her cheek and paused at her neck.
‘May I?’
Heart thumping against her sternum, she stood, walked away, and switched off the light. She hesitated.
One breath later, Nina turned her back to Alistair and slipped out of her blouse. She unclipped her bra and let it drop. She unzipped herself and stepped out of her skirt. When she turned back, he was illuminated by moonlight spilling into the room, her nakedness bared before him.
Exposed and vulnerable, she resisted the temptation to cover herself with her arms.
Wordlessly, he wriggled out of his shirt and unbuckled his trousers. She watched as they puddled to the floor.
One tentative step later, she felt the bristle of his cheek on her skin when he pressed his ear close to the fluttering uncertainty of her heart.
His lips brushed feather light along the raised, puckered ridge of scar tissue slashed across her chest.
He kissed her whole again.
An added note…
I will leave you with Australia’s breast cancer statistics, taken from the National Breast Cancer Foundation Website. If you are not up to date with screening, do book yourself in. You may just save your life.
Breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer amongst women in Australia. Approximately 57 Australians are diagnosed each and every day. That equates to over 20,000 Australians diagnosed with breast cancer each year.
1 in 7 women are diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime.
About 1 in 500 men are diagnosed in their lifetime.
Around 1000 young women are diagnosed with breast cancer each year, equivalent to about 3 young women each day.
In 2023, over 3,200 Australian will pass away from breast cancer (including 30-40 males). Approximately one woman under the age of 40 is expected to die each week from breast cancer.
That’s 9 Australians a day dying from the disease.
In the last 10 years, breast cancer diagnosis has increased by 21%.
And as an added note, if you are a transwoman and have been on gender affirming oestrogen for more than five years, do go and get your breasts checked.
Breast screening is free for all woman from 40 years.
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