And join me in sending congratulations to Camille Booker who came first and Samantha Trayhurn who placed third.
Running
I didn’t run my first marathon till my forties. I was at a social event when an acquaintance mentioned that it was on her bucket list to do a marathon before she turned forty. I’d missed that milestone but remember thinking, how hard can it be and the following day, signed up to run the Brisbane Marathon.
My training consisted of running a bit longer and further each week and I figured on the day I would just keep running till I finished. On the morning of the event, I turned up to the start line wearing my cotton tee shirt and shorts. I had graduated to decent running shoes but didn’t bring any gels or sports drinks, not considering that my body might burn through my breakfast and glycogen stories by 25K or so.
It was so much tougher than I imagined running 42.2K. I walked from 35K to 37K and then got my second wind and ran the final 5.2k. My kids joined me for the final 100m and stepped over the finish line by my side. Exhausted, I collapsed while the family brought me apple juice and bananas. I swore I would never run another marathon.
The exhilaration of finishing a marathon is like childbirth. Your body is flooded with hormones, and you recreate and reshape the whole experience into a story to be shared again and again with little embellishments as time passes. I signed up to run another marathon and then another.
In 2014, my husband went back to full time study, and I was the sole breadwinner for two years. I signed up to do a marathon a month to give me something challenging to focus on. Each month the family raised money for a different charity. Hubby and the kids did the lion’s share of the fundraising. It was a transformative year. We learnt so much about the incredible work done by twelve different organisations through the donated time and effort of volunteers. All three children still regularly participate in fundraising, support causes they believe in and remain vocal in their opinions about perceived injustice.
For those who read my September newsletter, you will remember me writing about how I run a marathon. It has been such a helpful way for me to not only run marathons but deal with big challenges in my life, I will share it again. This time, highlighted.
People often ask me, ‘How do you run a marathon?’ I reply that I never run 42.2k in my head. I run seven kilometres, six times. Most of us can manage seven kilometres. It turns out this is an effective way to live life. Divide insurmountable challenges into bite sized pieces in your head. The most important part of any challenge is to keep going. One step, one word, one day at a time.
Walk or slow down if you have to. Just don’t stop
Writing – Pearls of Wisdom
Pearl number three - Enduring the Tough Times
In my September newsletter, I promised to bring you one of my seven pearls of wisdom each month. If you are interested in the first two pearls, you can access the archive of newsletters via my website.
These pearls grew out of a chi running programme I did in my preparation for doing a marathon a month in 2014. The advice has translated perfectly to other areas in life, including my writing.
Injury is almost inevitable for the long-term runner. This requires adjustments to be made to training and always involves a reduction if not cessation of running for a while. The injured runner may need to cycle, swim, and do some rehabilitation exercises while recovering.
Writing is no different. There may be a period where you lack inspiration, or when you receive rejection after rejection.
Life is tough. Illness, death, divorce, relationship breakdown, unexpected overtime, financial stress are just some of the ways your writing can be derailed.
The truth is that however passionate and talented you are, you will hit roadblocks and challenges. Writing is a tough gig.
Be kind to yourself.
Never be afraid to reach out for help.
Keep in touch with your tribe. If you have a writing group, keep attending even if you are unable to write or give feedback yourself. Allow yourself to feel the warm wave of comfort of being with friend(s) or family who are there without expectation and who accept you just the way you are.
Spend a little time each day just noticing. The feeling of shower water on your skin. The taste of coffee on your tongue. The warmth of sunshine on your skin. Absorb the details of the everyday, the mundane. Be present
When you feel overwhelmed by life try the following simple exercise.
It is a simple technique called rescue breathing or first aid for mental health. Sit up straight with both feet firmly on the ground, hands comfortable in your lap. Let your shoulders relax. When you are ready, take a breath and feel your diaphragm pull your lungs down. Feel the air fill your lungs. Hold the air in your lungs for the count of three, then release it while saying the word, relax, to yourself. Hold the exhalation for a count of three.
Repeat this for three breaths.
It is often enough to bring you back to the present moment, away from rumination about the past and worry about the future.
Life requires adjustments, sometimes forces you to change course.
Pull back and reduce the amount you write. If you are experiencing grief or loss, the only writing you may be capable of for a few months is to keep a journal. Use this to chronicle your emotional and or physical pain. You may only manage a word or a line to capture how you are feeling. Treat yourself to a real notebook, one with blank pages and a beautiful cover. Let it carry the burden of your pain, the weight of your feelings.
The act of emptying your head onto a page is therapeutic. Our experiences good and bad, shape who we are, who we become. When we write, we use words to make our experiences accessible to others. We share our vulnerability, our humanity and readers are relieved to learn they are not alone.
You may never share your journal words with anyone, but inevitably your tough times will spill into your writing, consciously or unconsciously. You may have signed up to write your novel when your life derailed and may instead find yourself writing about the challenges of a difficult diagnosis, the joy of an unplanned pregnancy, the grief of losing a loved one.
The words resulting from your tough times will inform others, give them hope and encouragement that they are not alone.
Writing less can sometimes be more.
It may be that your detour through the tough times takes you to exactly where you need to be.
GP Wisdom
Mental health is a key component to overall wellbeing. The Australian Bureau of Statistics National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing indicate that over two in five Australians aged 16-85 years (43.7%) have experienced a mental health issue at some time in their lives. One in five (21.4%) had a twelve-month mental disorder with anxiety the most common group of twelve-month disorders (16.8%).
There is a much broader acceptance of mental health disorders which has rightly reduced stigma, but a recent study undertaken by The University of Melbourne suggests that there is an increasing tendency to pathologize normal emotions. Words matter and as health literacy expands and social media becomes a central source of information for many, terms like anxiety and depression are increasingly used to describe grief, sadness and worry, all part of a healthy range of emotions.
I recently consulted with a patient, Gayle who lost her father after a prolonged period of treatments for prostate cancer. She was very close to him and came in requesting anti-depressants and sleepers as she was not coping. While I will sometimes prescribe something to sleep for a few days, the death of an elderly relative is a very sad but normal part of life and the grief process one which has been well described. It is painful and difficult, but not necessarily a disorder requiring medication. She needed kindness and support from family and friends. I encouraged her to put together an album of photographs and memories of her father, a tribute to the important role he played in her life. We talked about anniversaries in the upcoming year – birthdays, Christmas, the date of diagnosis and she put plans in place for managing these important dates. I suggested some time off work, prescribed a sleeper for a few nights and arranged to see her again in a fortnight, reinforcing that grief is a normal and necessary emotion.
Another patient, Dale, is worried about an upcoming conference where work has asked him to give a presentation and to arrange a merchandise stall. He has self-diagnosed anxiety and is wanting a prescription to help him manage. I reassured him that it is normal to feel anxious about doing a public presentation as it is outside his comfort zone and unfamiliar. It is not a disorder requiring medication. He agreed to do an online series of sessions about managing situational anxiety.
The terms anxiety, depression and trauma have slipped into the lexicon with their meanings broadened to include transient and functional emotional states that we all experience. The reality is that uncertainty is a normal part of life and will cause discomfort. The problem with applying a label and diagnosis to every perceived negative emotion or challenging experience is that it is disempowering for individuals who are struggling with mental health disorders that have significant impacts on their day-to-day ability to function normally.
Words are important and they convey a depth of meaning to our conversations. It is very positive that mental health issues are now discussed openly in the public domain with the experiences of those whose lives are impacted with diagnoses given a voice and their stories being heard.
Meanwhile, it is also important to build resilience, to learn to manage emotions that are labelled in a negative way yet are an integral part of the human experience. Sadness, grief, anger and worry are normal and healthy. The antidepressant sertraline has entered Australia’s top ten most commonly taken medications and is prescribed for depression and anxiety as noted by the journal Australian Prescriber. There are many people who derive great benefit from this class of antidepressant, and it can be life changing.
I am concerned that more and more patients present requesting a prescription to blunt the experience of being human.
We have become so busy, we rush through life seeking quick solutions to every glitch, every discomfort and inconvenience. Over the next few newsletters, I will outline some non-pharmaceutical ways to manage uncomfortable feelings.
And remember, if you have been prescribed medication, seek medical advice before ceasing. These medications do play an important role in managing a range of mental health issues.
Note – all names have been changed to preserve confidentialit
What I’m Reading
I recently attended one of Avid Reader’s excellent evenings titled, The Silent Keepers. It featured not only two exceptional authors but artwork by the very talented Frazer Campbell. Do check out his webpage. The event was organised by writer Cass Moriarty who interviewed Al Campbell and Lyn Yeowart. It was an excellent event spent sipping a glass of wine, enjoying original artwork and listening to two award winning authors discuss not only their books but the experiences of childhood trauma that informed their writing.
