Inner Becoming Newsletter | |
Seeing New Options
When we can't change our circumstances, a simple perspective shift, a resonant metaphor, or a reframe can make familiar things appear new and intriguing. As if we're seeing them for the first time. Although simple, these shifts can be profound when framed in a way that opens our mind towards options we didn't see before.
As you read through these reflections, take a moment to think about an aspect of your life that feels challenging and see if you can reframe it or observe it a new way.
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Consider: What could be a different perspective on this matter? What assumptions are you making? What if you are wrong?
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Drinking Coffee With My Demons
I was thinking about a recurring (undesirable) pattern in my life and I found myself wishing it away. Most of us have an automatic impulse to resist what we don't want, to try to fix it or somehow improve it. As I journaled about this thing that troubled me, it somehow transformed from a problem into a knowing that came in a form of image: drinking coffee with my demons (inner critics).
I thought to myself: What I want to let go of I first need to accept. Wanting to let it go before it’s ready to leave me makes it feel like a struggle, like a power battle. Instead of struggling with it I can just let it be, I can be kind to it, be interested in it... as Jack Cornfield said, I can invite it for a tea, or coffee in my case. I can drink coffee with my demons.
Here is Tara Brach's version of the story I'm referencing.
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So next time your demons (in whatever flavor you experience them) come to visit and you feel lost in a story of criticism, judgment, powerlessness, and victimhood, don't fight with it. Make space for it, get to know it, and then let it go.
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How To Climb A Mountain
Each one of us is contending with a challenge de jour, our own mountains if you will. And each one of us is uniquely equipped with resources needed to make that climb. Even though most of us at some point experienced the sense that "we're doing it wrong" or that "we're behind," there really is no right way, or the right timing to climb a mountain.
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How do YOU want to do it?
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Are you focused on getting to the top as fast as you can or are you focused on making the climb the most meaningful and enjoyable part? Are you in a rush? What do you want to focus on as you're climbing? Will you allow yourself breaks to replenish and restore your energy? Will you bring a companion or you want it to be a solitary experience? What would it look like to do it for the sake of the process not the arrival?
You can be obsessed with the final result but if you hate the steps it takes to get there, will the "arrival" truly be fulfilling and meaningful? Will you be exhausted by the time you get to the top or full of great memories and energy to start another climb? What makes all the difference is our attitude towards the process and the challenges that come with it.
What if I'm climbing the wrong mountain?
If you're reading this and notice you're struggling with the lack of desire and motivation to stay in the process, it could be that you're climbing the wrong mountain. If you're in the middle of the process and you keep questioning every dang step along the way, check out my newsletter You Should Quit, in which I wrote about quitting things that aren't for you.
To conclude, Miley Cyrus said it best in her The Climb: "Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side,
It's the climb."
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Inner Becoming Offers
Psychotherapy
My psychotherapy approach is depth-oriented and rooted in inquiry, curiosity, and the human potential. Individuals who are the best fit with my approach are those interested in a self-discovering, understanding, and shifting identity patterns that are keeping them stuck. Psychotherapy helps you gain insight into ways your early experiences and adaptations guide your life and it supports you to make changes from a place of personal agency, compassion, and self-acceptance. If you're interested in psychotherapy, reach out to schedule a consultation!
Personal Growth Coaching
Personal growth coaching is a direct, present and future oriented process that helps you gain awareness of how your beliefs create your experience, and it supports shifting the beliefs that are holding you back. Whether you want to set specific goals, change what no longer works, or want a perspective change, go to the coaching page, scroll down, and fill out a form to get started!
Single Sessions
Single coaching sessions are available! This is for you if you want to work through an issue, obstacle, or a stuck point when you need it, without committing to future coaching. It can help you gain a different perspective, challenge your viewpoint, or identify the cause of your concerns. Find a time and day that works for you and book it directly!
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