Yes, it's true that we must FEEL, to DEAL, in order to HEAL. Sometimes this may sound scary if we've insulated ourselves from feeling anything at all. And this is nothing to be ashamed of...especially if you grew up ACOA where the unspoken family motto is "we don't talk about what's happening, we don't trust others, and we don't FEEL". It's literally a subconscious programming that we need to uncover and then gently unravel to discover the power and beauty held with feeling our feelings.
At times, we may feel (which is actually a false belief) that if we let ourselves feel our feelings that they will just get worse and never stop. This happens with sadness and crying a lot. I've heard clients say but if I start crying, I feel like I'm never going to stop. But in all actually, the way to healing is THROUGH the experience of sitting with our feeling(s). This way, once we've allowed ourselves to sit with the feeling, we've experienced it, and it is no longer clogging up emotional real estate in our hearts and minds. It wasn't repressed, depressed, or suppressed. When we give ourselves permission to feel the feelings whatever they may be (sadness, pain, fear, regret, grief, anger, shame, guilt, jealousy, joy, love, acceptance, relief, or hopefulness), we give ourselves permission to deal with the feeling in a healthy, appropriate way, which then paves the way for healing, freedom, and wholeness. Until we allow ourselves to FEEL the feelings, as hard as that can be sometimes, we're giving ourselves permission to be human, to rewrite old family rules, and live authentically. Authenticity is a true sign of healing and wholeness; a life marked by the ability to be truthful in all areas, including feelings.
(A caveat reminder about crying: we literally can't "cry forever" which is what our brain may tells us if we give ourselves permission to cry. But physically, it's just not possible to cry "forever". The reality is, if we allow ourselves a good cry, we will stop crying eventually when we've gotten everything out. Our brain, heart, and body know what is needed. So it's a skill we can grow in to allow ourselves to cry, and, trust that our mind, heart, and body will take care of regulating us as we move through the process. Also, we typically feel better when we cry because tears have an analgesic property that acts as a numbing agent! How cool is that?? God made our tears to actually help relax and soothe us! This is huge!)
Think about how you feel when you have a knot in your arm, shoulder, or back from some strenuous work you've done. It doesn't feel good right? And what happens if you ignore it? It typically doesn't get better on it's own. What helps it? Being aware of the situation, naming what's happening in your body, acknowledging the discomfort, then attending to it through massage, warm compress, or any other method of "working it out" that you prefer. Our feelings are the same way. If we ignore they exist or that they have an impact on us, we are actually abandoning a part of ourselves by denying the pain/hurt/feeling that is trying to rise up. The best thing we can do is sit with someone whose role is to create a safe, judgment free zone for us to acknowledge, express, and unpack our internal world. This is where therapy enters! It's literally my job to create a safe emotional environment for my clients to sit with all parts of themselves, especially those parts that have seemed off limits or unaccessible. Through rapport building, respect, compassion, and the process of EMDR therapy, I help my clients learn the art of FEELING their feelings so that they can DEAL in a healthy way with them in order to HEAL and walk in freedom and hope. This process is possible and I love walking my clients through it; Hope and Healing are possible!
Now is a great time to walk in courage and start or restart the therapeutic journey. I'm passionate about EMDR intensive therapy as we are able to expedite the healing process without needing weekly therapy sessions. You literally save time and money in the long run from this immersive therapeutic experience.
Reminder:
EMDR Intensive Therapy = Symptom Relief Sooner
What symptoms would you love to see some relief from? Let's work together and help you feel, to deal, to HEAL!
Check out my website for all the details:
www.inspiredhope.life
Email me at: [email protected] to get on the waitlist for EMDR intensives for January 2024. And check out my FAQ page for any questions.
I'm cheering for you!
- Brittni Kelchner, LMHC, LPC, MCAP
100% Virtual EMDR Intensives in FL, MO, and SC
Hope & healing are possible!
