Dr. Phil is renowned for asking folks what actions they're taking, then responding with, "How's that working for you?"
I want to augment Dr. Phil's question slightly, and put it a marriage context.
Please read & answer these questions:
- What do you say when your spouse cuts you off while you're talking (How's that working for your marriage?)
- What do you do when your spouse speaks ugly to you? (How's that working for your marriage?)
- How do you respond when your mate commits a behavior that ticks you off? (How's that working for your marriage?)
- What's your go-to response when your partner leaves something undone around the house? (How's that working for your marriage?)
- If your mate is dishonest with you, what do you say or do? (How's that working for your marriage?)
- Do you deny your mate sex when he/she is not meeting your needs? (How's that working for your marriage?)
- Do you keep throwing your mate's previous sins or in his/her face? (How's that working for your marriage?)
- Are you a demanding spouse and expect everyone in the house to bow to your wishes? (How's that working for your marriage?)
- Are you trashing your mate online or in person to family & friends? (How's that working for your marriage?)
- Are you cheating on your mate emotionally and/or physically? (How's that working for your marriage?)
- Have you failed to leave & cleave, thereby giving your parents power they shouldn't have in your union? (How's that working for your marriage?)
- Are you checked out emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, or sexually? (How's that working for your marriage?)
- Do you pray for your mate on a regular basis? (How's that working for your marriage?)
I could go on all day, but I think you get the picture.
You're either making your marriage better or worse—it's never parked in neutral.
Take stock of how your behaviors (spurred by your beliefs) are working for your marriage.
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